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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments can become “really delusional”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘People will see that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually coming after a “sudden low”, during which he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his conduct, rendering him highly sensitive to negative feedback from external sources. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after investigating his behaviors on the internet – and was later diagnosed by a professional. But, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had previously arrived at that understanding personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they experience a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And that world is like, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

While people have been called narcissists for more than a century, definitions vary what people refer to as the term. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, adding the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people keep it private, as there is widespread prejudice associated with the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through actions such as pursuing power,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in NPD Presentation

While up to 75% of people identified as having NPD are men, findings suggests this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that female narcissism is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, just kind of like everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and rejection,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I often enter defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the damaging patterns of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she says she and her partner “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures in her youth. “I’ve been learning all this time which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were belittling me in my early years.”

Root Causes of NPD

Personality disorders tend to be associated with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” notes a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, similar to his experience, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: The estimate was it is likely to occur in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he comments. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the disorder. But the existence of online advocates and the rise of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number